I'm awake and its 3:00am, time is moving like I am,
slow, hurt, disconnected, and still going. I had a
dream, and it was painful.
I'm at my house, its just after 7:00pm, people are
coming over so go to start cleaning my kitchen ta-
ble and i see her there, i see her just the way i left
her at the build. I felt anxious, shortness of breath,
butterflies in my stomach, not knowing what i sho-
uld say or do.
So I sat in front of her and said: Are you still mine?
I stood up and went to her put my hands at her
waist, she put hers to my neck and says: You
know I am. we hold each other not knowing how
though, because we have never done so... Its time
for her to leave, I don't walk her out, I watch as my
whole life is walking out the door.
I run over, but I'm to late, she's gone. My heart is
pounding, I cant breath my head begins to hurt, I
breakdown.
I'm awake now. I'm soaking in sweat I'm out of
breath and here alone and its 3:00am, fighting
myself not to text her, I want to so bad.
I'm actually writing this now , hoping that she will
read and know that I miss her, that I long to see her,
and that I hunger for the touch I have never felt.
I cant sleep at night, for when I do, I see things that
make me hurt and depressed, because there is
nothing I can do to change it, every time I realize this
I... Well, that's another story.
